…and it makes his wife laugh. To be fair, she gave her blessing to his yellow pants and purple shirt combo. This was vacation time so he packed just the one coat to keep the luggage light. The black hat was purchased in Canada to keep the sun out of his eyes.
He would have packed his red Canada baseball cap but the wife said it makes him look like a Trumpster. That alone almost made him throw it in a dumpster for, to be associated with the Donald, a man with strong xenophobic tendencies is in antithesis to the Middle Aged Man who views himself as a citizen of the world, not just one country in the world, who understands isolationism is not the answer when the question is a thriving community.
But he has a hard time throwing away good money so it sits on his shelf gathering dust waiting for a future when the Donald has been dumped by US voters and is sent to rot in the anals (yes, I meant anal, not annal) of history.
A few years ago, I was going out on a date in a pair of jorts (jean shorts) and my eldest daughter nearly fell into hysterics. It turns out, jorts were the epitome of Dad fashion and were shunned by anyone with any sense of coolness. I have since learned my beloved cargo shorts with a pocket for everything and then some have fallen into the same anti-cool hall of fame as jorts. So, what’s the Middle Aged Man to do?
His wife picked out these yellow shorts at Uniqlo. He was unsure but opted to go with her more sophisticated sense of style. He found this shirt on clearance at Nordstrom’s Rack, a store just around the corner from his office. The ‘list’ price was a ridiculous $135 but it was cut way, way down to fit within his more frugal budget. Otherwise, it would still be on the rack. The suede, navy blue shoes are made by one of the few clothing brands where he is willing to brandish a logo. They are Tom’s, a company that gives away a pair of shoes to the needy for every pair purchased.
The Middle Aged Man is still working on his ability to comfortably pose in front of the lens. This hand on chin mannerism is one the daughter that ridiculed his jorts absolutely hates. So, it seemed appropriate for an article with jorts in the title.